Therapy for low confidenceSpeak up and trust yourself.

Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself as a person: whether you feel fundamentally acceptable and worthy¹. Self-confidence is more specific: your trust that you can do something, such as give a presentation, manage a conflict, learn a new skill or meet new people.

The two are linked but not identical. You can like yourself and still feel shaky in particular situations, or be highly competent at work and privately feel you are never good enough. This page focuses on confidence in action. If your main struggle is a persistently negative view of yourself, see our page on self-esteem therapy.

Confidence usually follows action, not the other way round. When you avoid a challenge, you feel relief, but you lose the chance to discover that you could cope. Over time, the list of things that feel "too much" grows, and the belief "I can't" seems more and more true. The NHS notes that avoiding challenging situations may feel safer in the short term but can backfire in the longer term, because it reinforces underlying doubts and fears¹.

Past experiences also play a part: criticism, bullying, being compared with others, or a setback that you have never quite recovered from. These leave behind predictions ("I'll make a fool of myself", "They'll see I'm not good enough") that shape how you approach new situations.

Self-esteem and confidence research suggests that a healthier view of yourself is associated with better outcomes across relationships, work and health². A meta-analysis of structured CBT-based interventions for low self-esteem found large improvements with weekly sessions³, and longitudinal evidence shows that a negative self-view is a risk factor for later depression and anxiety⁴, which makes this work worthwhile beyond the immediate goal.

Our therapists work in an integrative, evidence-informed way. To build confidence, sessions usually combine understanding with practice:

• Choosing your goals: the specific situations where you want to feel and act differently.
• Identifying predictions: what exactly you fear will happen, and how you usually protect yourself.
• Behavioural experiments: planned, step-by-step actions, such as speaking once in a meeting or making one request, followed by an honest review of what actually happened.
• Techniques from cognitive behavioural therapy, where helpful, to challenge all-or-nothing thinking and the inner critic.
• Assertiveness skills: expressing opinions and needs clearly and respectfully, and saying no without long explanations. The NHS describes being assertive as respecting other people's opinions and needs, and expecting the same from them¹.
• Working with the body: calming physical nerves before and during challenging situations.
• Recognising progress: noticing what you did, not only what still felt hard.

Online sessions make it easy to practise in context, for example by rehearsing a difficult conversation or preparing for a video interview. Video psychotherapy has shown outcomes broadly comparable to in-person therapy⁵, and the quality of the relationship with your therapist matters in both formats⁶.

Consider therapy if low confidence:

• stops you from pursuing opportunities at work or in your personal life;
• leads you to avoid situations that matter to you;
• leaves you feeling anxious, low or stuck;
• has been present for a long time despite your own efforts.

If you are also experiencing persistent low mood or anxiety, therapy can address these together.