Couples therapy onlineUnderstand each other again.

Couples come to therapy for many reasons, including:

• Communication that keeps breaking down, where every conversation seems to turn into an argument or into silence.
• The same conflict on repeat, about money, housework, in-laws, time together or parenting.
• Emotional distance: living side by side but feeling lonely in the relationship.
• Trust and infidelity, including rebuilding after an affair or deciding whether rebuilding is possible.
• Life transitions, such as relocating to another country, becoming parents, children leaving home, illness or retirement.
• Cultural and family differences, which are common in international relationships and can be both enriching and a source of strain.
• Intimacy, when desire or closeness has changed and neither of you knows how to talk about it.
• Separation, when a couple wants to part respectfully, particularly if they will continue to parent together.

If you are struggling with a relationship issue on your own, for example with a family member or a pattern that repeats across relationships, individual sessions may suit you better; see our individual therapy page.

Our therapists work with couples in an integrative, evidence-informed way. The two best-researched families of couple therapy, behavioural approaches and emotionally focused approaches, both show meaningful benefit, with no significant difference between them in a meta-analysis of 33 randomised trials¹. Our therapists draw on ideas from both, alongside techniques from cognitive behavioural therapy where helpful.

In practice, sessions usually involve:

• Mapping the cycle. What happens, step by step, when things go wrong between you, and what each of you feels underneath the reaction the other one sees.
• Slowing conversations down so that each partner can speak and be heard without interruption or counter-attack.
• Communication skills, such as describing a need instead of criticising, and listening long enough to understand rather than to reply.
• Repair: learning how to come back together after an argument, which matters more than never arguing at all.
• Practical agreements on recurring issues, tested between sessions and reviewed together.

The therapist stays neutral. Their role is not to decide who is right, but to help both of you understand the pattern and find a way of being together that works better for both.

A 2020 meta-analysis of 58 studies representing 2,092 couples found that couple therapy had a large effect on relationship satisfaction, while couples on waiting lists did not improve significantly, and it also reported benefits for communication². Gains can fade over time for some couples¹, which is why the later sessions focus on keeping the changes going after therapy ends.

Online delivery fits couples work well. A meta-analysis of live video psychotherapy found outcomes broadly comparable to in-person therapy⁵. Online sessions also make it possible to attend when partners work different hours or live apart for part of the week.

Consider couples therapy if arguments are frequent or escalating, if you avoid certain topics altogether, if one or both of you are thinking about leaving, or if a major event has shaken your trust. Earlier is generally easier: patterns that have had years to settle take longer to change.

If there is violence, intimidation or coercive control in the relationship, joint sessions are not a safe starting point. Safety comes first; in an emergency call 112.